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Back to Workshops Ages 8-12 • Relationships

Kindness with Boundaries

Be kind without being a doormat

35-45 minutes

Interactive Learning

Certificate Included

What Are Boundaries?

Being kind doesn't mean saying "yes" to everything or letting people treat you badly. Boundaries are the rules you set about how others can treat you. You can be both kind AND strong!

💝 True Kindness

Learn the difference between being kind and being a people-pleaser

🛡️ Set Boundaries

Establish healthy limits to protect your time, energy, and feelings

🚫 Say No

Master respectful but firm ways to decline requests

❤️ Self-Kindness

Remember that being kind to yourself is just as important

⚖️

Activity 1: Kindness vs. People-Pleasing

Learn to recognize the important difference

Instructions: Decide whether each scenario is HEALTHY KINDNESS or PEOPLE-PLEASING.

Your friend asks to copy your homework. You let them even though you know it's wrong.

💝 Healthy Kindness ❌ People-Pleasing (Not good for either of you!)

You help a classmate understand a difficult concept because you genuinely want to help them learn.

💝 Healthy Kindness (You're helping them grow!) ❌ People-Pleasing

You agree to join a club you're not interested in because your friend wants you to.

💝 Healthy Kindness ❌ People-Pleasing (You're ignoring your own needs!)

You tell a friend "I can't hang out today because I need to rest," even though they seem disappointed.

💝 Healthy Kindness (Taking care of yourself!) ❌ People-Pleasing

💡 The Key Difference:

Healthy Kindness = Helping others while respecting yourself
People-Pleasing = Sacrificing your own needs to avoid disappointing others

🛡️

Activity 2: Define Your Personal Boundaries

Identify what's okay and what's not okay for you

Instructions: Think about different areas of your life and set clear boundaries.

My Personal Boundaries:

Physical Boundaries (touch, personal space):

Time Boundaries (how you spend your time):

Emotional Boundaries (how others treat your feelings):

Belongings Boundaries (your stuff):

One boundary that's been crossed recently:

How did it make you feel?

🚫

Activity 3: How to Say No Respectfully

Practice declining requests in kind but firm ways

Instructions: For each situation, write a kind but firm way to say "no."

A friend wants you to lie to their parents for them.

Your response:

Someone keeps asking to borrow your favorite game even though they never return things.

Your response:

A classmate wants to hang out but you need time alone to recharge.

Your response:

💬 "No" Sentence Starters:

"I appreciate you asking, but..."
"That sounds fun, but I need to..."
"I'm not comfortable with that because..."
"Maybe another time, but today I..."
"I care about you, and I have to say no to this."

⚠️

Activity 4: Responding to Boundary Violations

Know what to do when someone doesn't respect your limits

Instructions: Learn the steps to take when someone crosses your boundaries.

NOTICE

Recognize when something feels wrong

NAME IT

Clearly state what boundary was crossed

RESPOND

Use a firm, calm voice to reassert your boundary

ENFORCE

Take action if the behavior continues (distance, tell an adult)

Practice Scenario:

Think of a time someone didn't respect your boundary. What happened?

How did you respond (or wish you had responded)?

If this happens again, what will you say or do?

❤️

Activity 5: Being Kind to Yourself

Practice self-compassion and self-respect

Instructions: Make a commitment to treat yourself with the same kindness you show others.

My Self-Kindness Commitments:

I will honor my needs, not just others' wants I will take breaks when I need them I will say "no" without feeling guilty I will speak to myself kindly, like I would a friend I will ask for help when I need it I won't sacrifice my values to please others

One way I'll be kinder to myself this week:

My personal motto about boundaries:

Your Reflection

Think about kindness and boundaries:

1. Why is it hard to set boundaries sometimes?

2. How do you feel when you say "yes" when you really mean "no"?

3. What's one boundary you need to set or reinforce?

4. How will having strong boundaries actually make you a better friend?

Key Takeaways

💝

True Kindness

You can be kind without sacrificing yourself.

🛡️

Boundaries Matter

Healthy boundaries protect your well-being and relationships.

🚫

"No" is Complete

"No" is a full sentence—you don't always need to explain.

💪

Respect Yourself

Teaching others how to treat you starts with self-respect.

⚖️

Balance is Key

Great relationships have give and take, not just giving.

❤️

Self-Kindness

Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

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